Tottenham 2 – 1 Arsenal, but we're still better looking.

April 15, 2010 6 Comments by Sian

*I finished this blog at 1am last night. If the layout’s higgledy-piggledy, that’s why.*

Real life will get in the way of blogging tomorrow, so I’m starting and completing this post mere hours after the final whistle. There are lots of words to sum up the events of this evening at White Hart Lane, most of which are expletives or words that sound like they should be expletives. Like ‘numpty’ and ‘cack’.

Anyway.

As a performance, it wasn’t bad, but anyone who knows anything about Arsenal Football Club or Tottenham Hotspur Football Club or North London in general, will know that truly the only part of this match that matters is the result. Bit of a bugger when you consider we lost 2-1.

Their first goal, scored by NKOB Danny Rose after Almunia punched instead of caught the ball, gifting it to the kid in the process, was brilliant but totally flukey. For those of you watching online, you may have missed the section of ‘Kissed by a Rose’ we were treated to upon our return from a commercial break. I can still taste the vomit in my mouth. (By the way, NKOB is short for New Kid on the Block. I know how to spell ‘knob’) 

I believe possession in the first half was something like 59% Arsenal, so we had our time on the ball; we just didn’t do anything with it. I don’t even know who scored their second goal early in the second half because I’m an Arsenal fan and this is an Arsenal blog and it’s nearly midnight here and if you don’t like it, you can do one. But score they did. This one wasn’t really Almunia’s fault. Just happened. (It was Gareth Bale who scored. He mings.) 

Frustration was the order of the day for the rest of the match. We had our chances on goal, but suddenly Heurelho Gomes seemed to have decided to put his goalkeeper’s gloves on instead of his face paint, his giant red shoes and his squirty flower for a change, and make about three saves in about three minutes. Nicky Bendtner finally managed to put one past him in the 85th minute. 2-1.

The end, goodnight.

Oh alright then. Let’s look at the positives and the negatives of the match. Negatives first, because I want to end this post on a high:

NEGATIVES

- We lost. I know some of my readers (forced into reading this by me) don’t know too much about football, but this is generally considered to be a Bad Thing. 

- Thomas Vermaelen had to come off with a calf injury in the 19th minute. The reasons for this being bad are two-fold. 1.) Mikael Silvestre had to replace him and while I’m not as into the Anti-MS club as some, he aint no Tommy. Thomas is expected to be out for up to three weeks. This is considered to be a Very Bad Thing. 2.) I might be a football fan but I’m also a girl. If you didn’t know, Thomas Vermaelen definitely pleases, aesthetically. 

- Abou Diaby had another bad game. He was always good, just inconsistent. Up until the first leg of the Barcelona game, he was really coming into his own and being brilliant. Not tonight. He seemed surprised every time he was tackled. Be prepared, Vassiriki!

- The bragging rights go to Tottenham this season. In spite of the fact we battered them 3-0 at home (when, by the way, we were almost at full-strength as compared with tonight when we were very much not), this season will be remembered as the one in which we were beaten by Tottenham. The DVD is on its way now and I’m expecting the mug to be on the shelves shortly after. I don’t mind Tottenham as a team. They play far nicer football than Chelsea do, plus they have Peter ‘Legend’ Crouch on their side (Crouch only a legend because of his ‘virgin’ comment, you understand).

But there’s no two ways about it: so many of their fans were given a bigger dose of tosser at birth than most normal humans. I’m not going to dedicate any more of this blog to them, because the ones I’m referring to would probably struggle to read it anyway. However, one thing needs to be said: The paedophile chant. It needs to be sorted out. This was my personal lowpoint of the match (my feelings are hurt easily, but I’m welling up recalling it now. And I’m not being sarcastic, for a change.)

Everyone agrees that racism is sick, wrong, disgusting and completely out of place on the terraces. No arguments here. Fans seen or heard joining in with any racist chants have been in the past ejected from the crowd, the club fined, lambasted by the media, etc. Excellent. Unfortunately these narrow-minded spanners can’t also be led to the electric chair on their way out – because let’s face it, what do they bring to the table in terms of handy human attributes? –  but this behaviour is punished all the same.

I fail to see, then, why every time we play certain teams, sections of their fans (not saying it’s all of them) get away with shouting over and over “Sit down, you paedophile” at our manager Arsene Wenger. The man, possibly the most intelligent manager in the Premier League, has a wife and child. I’m not a father (in case you were wondering), but I can imagine that that’s probably the worst kind of accusation you can level at one. Or indeed at any human. It was loud enough for us watching at home to hear it. It apparently wasn’t loud enough for the commentators to be insulted by it, as they only went on to praise the spirit of the Tottenham fans. In light of the coverage of last week’s Barca match and considering this was Sky Sports, I’m assuming someone (not Richard Keys, maybe it was Ian?) had farted behind-the-scenes and they were trying to work out who it was.

Why is it funny? Why is it accepted? Why is it not treated in the same way racist abuse aimed at players is treated? How is it any less repulsive? And I mean this in a broader sense as well. I’m not under the impression that other managers don’t get equally sick abuse or that Arsenal fans are innocent parties in this matter, but why does it have to be done at all, by anyone?

Let me just step down off my soapbox now… oop, there we go, back down again.

That’s all that’s negative for this match, though. All in all, not a bad performance but bloody dire when you consider the context of the game. There are still matches to be played. This team had just better go out there and play like they’re on a treble for the rest of the season.

POSITIVES

 - RVP came back after 17 years out on the sidelines and was bleedin’ immense! He can and will recapture his pre-twatted-ankle form. We should be so excited for next season with him. He is a Gooner through and through and, according to my sources, a very, very decent bloke. Being a total girl here but I love hearing that our players are also good people. Makes the size of their wallets far easier to digest.

- The Clich’ and his superpowers have returned! He was a bit shaky when he first came back from injury – a broken back, by the way, not like it was a niggle – but he was second to MOTM for me tonight. You could see how much he cared.

- Number one for us obviously has to go to Sol man. I’m sure the booing helped, but he was wicked tonight. Thirty-five? Pah, if he plays like that some more, this man machine can play until he’s 45! He was probably the oldest man on the pitch, yet he shone like a beacon of excellence. You know why? Because of how much it meant to him. How much he wanted to teach the knuckle-draggers singing yet more gross songs about him a lesson (yeah, Wenger wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of a barrage of insults. The fact I live so close to such unbelievable levels of muppetry is nothing short of disturbing to me. These people have jobs? And… children?) The other boys can learn a lesson from him. If you want to play at your absolute best, you can. And you’re not 35.

- This season has unquestionably been a vast improvement on last year. We were clinging on by the skin of our teeth to 4th place this time last year whereas now we are comfortably third, still maybe pushing for second and even, if the Chelsea squad decide they’d actually rather take up fly-fishing than football for the next few weeks, the Premiership!

- We will hopefully be able to start the season with a full-strength squad in August. I expect that squad to include Cesc as apparently Barcelona have very graciously given us their word that they won’t come and steal him from us when we’re not looking this summer. True, true gents, that lot.

At some point, Alex Song is coming back, Cescy Baby is coming back, Johan Djourou is coming back, Kieran Gibbs is coming back, Aaron Ramsey is coming back, Andrey Arshavin is coming back and all the players we are going to acquire over the summer (and there’d better be some, AW) are going to do us proud.

We’ve been saying “Next season” since 2005. But do you know what? This year we might just be right. We’re the comeback kids of this year and next year we won’t need to have such levels of bouncebackability, as we are going to stun everyone. I believe in Arsenal. Do you?

5 Comments

  1. Teresa Ranscombe
    2777 days ago

    Completely, Siany. I just wish I could put it as eloquently as you! My favourite bit has to be about Gomez and his facepaint – that was a LOL moment.
    Reading your take on possibly the most depressing match of the season (only in terms of the sh1t you get from the knuckle draggers) made me smile – first time this morning. So thanks. X

    Reply

  2. Marcus Dysch
    2777 days ago

    Possibly the perfect blog. Cutting, funny, sincere. Brilliant.

    However, don’t fall for this “our players are good people” nonsense. Footballers are footballers, with some exceptions admittedly, but sadly not many.

    Anyway, well done Siany, superb effort when you must have been hurting so much.

    Reply

  3. Tricia
    2777 days ago

    I didn’t watch the match so can’t comment on a lot of things, but great blog. There were too many ‘what ifs’ this season. Although I must say that I’m going to buy Sol a cookie. He’s awesome.

    Reply

  4. Chopper
    2773 days ago

    LMFAO Haha, You got owned! Wigan too tough for you too lol…

    Come On You Spurs!!!!!!

    Reply

    • sianyr
      2773 days ago

      Thanks for the intelligent and insightful comment!

      Reply

One Trackback

  1. By Abschied für Arsenal | RAPIDHAMMER on April 15, 2010 at 10:22 am

    [...] “There is too much to do”, sagte Arsène Wenger auf die Frage, ob sich sein Team nach der gestrigen 1:2-Niederlage gegen Tottenham aus dem Titelrennen verabschiedet habe. Das Tor des 19-jährigen Spurs-Debütanten Danny Rose, der mit einem Volley aus 30 yards schon nach 10 Minuten auf 1:0 stellte, und ein Tor kurz nach der Pause von Gareth Bale beendeten die 8 Spiele dauernde Serie von Arsenal-Spielen ohne Niederlage. Nicklas Bendtners Anschlusstreffer in der 85. Minute änderte an der Niederlage nichts mehr, wobei Wenger einräumte, dass auch ein Unentschieden für die Titelchancen seiner Mannschaft ein arger Dämpfer gewesen wäre. (-> Spielbericht und Resumee aus der Arsenal-Perspektive siehe -> hier.) [...]

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