Stupid trains and fantastic Frenchmen.

August 3, 2011 24 Comments by Sian

The frequency of bloggage in this place has been so crap that I expect no one will be here to read it but myself. Oh, and my dad who reminded me I have a blog that needs love and attention. So anyway, been very busy of late. Internships are educational, contact-making and helpful for the future… they also drain away your funds on travel expenses like funds are going out of fashion. I’m down to -70p on my Oyster card as of this evening.

Instead of feeling sad for my formerly financially-chubby Oyster card’s sad new fate, I simply felt smug that it is currently so worthless. Wanted to walk through a bad neighbourhood flashing it in the faces of shifty-looking kids, hoping they’d tear it from my hands only to later discover they’d literally stolen a person’s debts. Bwahaha. No one did nick it though, probably because the look on my face was so utterly murderous that they were the ones afraid of getting stabbed.

Oh and by the way, I think it’s OUTRAGEOUS that London Underground can still charge us so much for journeys when the journeys are so bad. Microwave temperatures, armpits that haven’t seen a sponge since 1993, and a lengthy spell in a tunnel at Wood Green? Due to signal failure? And I’m paying £4.10? You failed. Your ’service’ was not provided in a satisfactory manner. Give. me. my. money. back.

The signal failure this evening happened to occur at a station that usually makes me smile every time I pass through it. Arsenal station, of course. Did you know we are the only club to have had a London Underground tube station named after us? It used to be called Gillespie Road station, until Herbert Chapman came along and convinced the powers that be to change it. I mean, I think this is true. It was certainly true when I did an art project on the club when I was 11. Imagine if Herbert had never came along. ‘Course ya talkin’ abaht yeeeeears ago now, but the changes he implemented while at the club have had huge repurcussions on both our club and football in general today. I have a sneaking suspicion our grandkids will have the same comments to make about another certain manager in years to come, but that’s a different story for a different day.

Anyway, when the announcement was made over the tannoy that it was Arsenal that had the problem causing us all delays, there were the usual grumblings. I think I and every other Arsenal fan on that carriage, though, were united in our accepting nods and smiles as we realised it was the portal to our stadium that was causing the issue. Well, of course it would be. I wouldn’t be surprised if we started being blamed for rising water levels and homeless polar bears, to be honest. Poor, beaten donkey that we are.

It was the Emirates Cup at the weekend. It’s a tournament that divides fans in opinion (‘Arsenal fans in divided opinion shocker’). Some love it and think it’s a great two days out in the sun to see how the team is looking, to get to see some players you wouldn’t usually get to see, and to be eased back into regular footballing activity in general. Of course, it’s also a chance for people who don’t normally get to games, to get to some games. Others think it’s a waste of time, a simple money-spinner with little or no bearing on the rest of the season (I mean, we usually win it after all…) and that Mexican waves have no place in football.

I’m somewhere in the middle. It’s a good day out and it was certainly magnificently beautifully stunningly supercalifragalistically pheNOMenal to see Thierry back in action at the Emirates at the weekend. However, I do agree that Mexican waves are, well, a bit wank.

We didn’t win it this year. No, the New York Red Bulls did. In spite of failing to score against us themselves, they took a trophy out of our hands anyway. Good job it’s ugly as sin.

At full-time, the crowd that had (except me and my lot) been Mexican waving away throughout, felt that a good old boo was required. At the time, I barely noticed it, really. My reaction to the defeat was ‘GAH! But give a shit, let’s be honest…’, so that others could feel such a violent reaction to a pre-season draw didn’t really register. Then I had a butchers’ at Twitter and man, shit be goin’ dowwwwn! Whether it was outrage at the loss of our very own (uggo) trophy, outrage at the booing, outrage at the outrage at the booing or outrage at there being outrage that there was outrage at booing, no toys were to be found in anyone’s pram that day.

Booing is always daft. I do of course understand that we have little other way of getting our message across to anyone that matters otherwise. But it’s more that it makes you sound like an uneducated FOOL, really. I mean, I was PROPER pissed off that my journey home this evening was so bad, and I’d paid good money for that too, but imagine if the entire carriage had started booing.

Or, you’re in a restaurant and the waiter brings you your food, says bon appetit, turns on his heel and leaves. You find a hair in your food.

You: Er excuse me, waiter?

Waiter: Yes, sir/madam?

You: *meaningful look at waiter, meaningful look at hairy food* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Know what I mean? Of course there were issues on the pitch that were not satisfactory, and losing your own cup at home to a team of ten men plus Thierry Henry is a bit of a shocker, but winning it in the past hasn’t exactly done us much good so I’m still not that fussed. Plus, given the Mexican wavers were the booers, I don’t really think they needed to confirm to anyone that they were douchebags, do you? And as a plus to the previous plus, if you expected that there was a chance Thierry would ‘swap’ at half time and play 45 minutes for Arsenal, any comments that it was a serious competition now have as much credibility as the ‘Dolce & Banana’ towel I saw on sale in Ibiza.

It was truly lovely to see Thierry back again though. Next to Le Boss himself, if I had the chance to interview anyone in the world, it’d be him. I’d just say stuff like ‘Go on, do that thing you do where you’re all Arsenally again! Go on, say nice bits! No go on, go on, do it again!” I can’t be arsed with players who go on and be all diplomatic about teams. And Thierry will never be diplomatic about the Arse.

We’re all getting a bit itchy about situations off the pitch. Personally I’d like to walk in there and be like “Right. Cesc. You love us, we get that. You love them, we also get that. But if you want to go, you really want to go, then goodbye. Love you buddy but Arsenal was here before you and will still be here once you’ve gone back to them”.

‘Course then I’d ruin it being dragged across the floor as I clung to his thigh for dear life pleading “Please Cesc NO I DIDN’T MEEEEEEEAN IT!” But really, I think the first sentiment is more the general consensus than the second one. As for Nasri. Well… bov’d. Still trying to want him and love him, but I feel like he cheated on his stag night and now everything’s ruined. The engagement ring may still sparkle but when it hits the light it only reflects broken promises, empty dreams and slutty lapdancers.

We’re still a while from transfer deadline day but if the board don’t get a wiggle on, we’ll be stood there like empty-trollied incompetent Supermarket Sweep contestants once again. It’s enough to give you a headache to be honest. But, there’s still time. We shall see, etc, etc. I’m a bit fed up of wanting to cuddle my Arsenal all better. It shouldn’t be that way. They should be the ones going ‘There there…’ in tough times through the means of fabulous memories, but memories of the beautiful games that DID happen last season are getting a bit hazy.

We need new ones Arsenal. Make it happen.

24 Comments

  1. Thomas
    2272 days ago

    I agree with most of your points but am pleased to see an article published by an articulate writer. Very well written

    Reply

  2. gooner chris
    2272 days ago

    Love your writing, allways brimgs a smile to my face, lets hope those fabulous memory moments will start again soon.

    Reply

    • gooner chris
      2272 days ago

      sometimes it brings a smile aswell

      Reply

  3. FunGunner
    2272 days ago

    Lovely blog and great points articulately made. Yay! How long have you been writing it?

    Reply

  4. Boy in North Finchley
    2272 days ago

    Yeah, the tube is only for emergencies now.
    Buses and walking for me.

    Anyway…

    Theo with no brain pretty much matched Nasri (stats wise). Obviously Samir’s the better player but yeah… Meh…..

    With Cesc i feel like a cuckold, but i don’t know if it’s the unfaithful or the seductress i should be more angry with. The reaction he gets from the crowd tomorrow should be interesting.

    Actually probably shouldn’t read too much into that, mostly a day out for the children isn’t it? KIds don’t boo do they?

    At least Vermaelen is back, that’s something to look forward to.

    Reply

  5. Alan
    2272 days ago

    If only those boys in red and white could generate smiles as easily as you do, Siany. LOL time is back. Still hoping for some transfer action, even some outgoers (Why oh why was Eboue even in the squad if he’s on his way?), but it’s all a bit cack at the moment. AW had better show us what he knows soon.

    Reply

  6. Treez
    2272 days ago

    The only Arsenal blog I’ve read this week that made me laugh out loud. I’m dying to get the whole carriage booing next time I’m on a delayed tube. The whole idea is just brilliant. High time more Arsenal fans saw the funny side of things. It’s all so doom and gloom.

    I agree with your sentiments re Cesc. We love him to bits but he’s done his bit and if he wants to go home I wish him well.

    Please write another blog tomorrow. Don’t really care what about. I just want a laugh.

    Reply

  7. North Bank Lew
    2272 days ago

    “The engagement ring may still sparkle but when it hits the light it only reflects broken promises, empty dreams and slutty lapdancers.”

    No wonder you’ve been co-opted onto the official Arsenal magazine…in fact, let’s face it, you’re too good for them!

    Keep it up girl.

    Reply

  8. Omglol
    2272 days ago

    Hey hey it wasnt defeat :( it was draw, anyway the booing was awful.

    great blog great writhing.

    Reply

  9. The BearMan
    2272 days ago

    Very amusing piece until you started discussing our favored club. Allow me to say something many people tend to miss, Arsenal is fast cultivating a losing mentality. When a club, it board of directors, it’s manager can find encouragement from defeats that will filter through the entire team. (Losing is great, finishing 4th is much the same as finishing first). Arsenal’s business model is second to none. Making a profit is vital, so should be the attitude of the club, finishing on top is all that matters and second place is failure.

    Wenger dare not use that kind of language as it will reflect on his record over the past 6 seasons.

    Can I suggest that you also become more active around the family home and try negotiating a little increase in your weekly pocket monies. We want to see you traveling safely.

    Reply

  10. Irishgray
    2272 days ago

    Sian is back and straight away I feel so much more optimistic about our upcoming season :) Agree it was great to see Thierry back but (I hate to do this Sian!!) it was not just him and ten men. It was him and nine men and Shrek’s little brother. Oh how Shrek must have been laughing that his brother won the Emirates Cup because Arsenal scored an own goal. Just for that I forgave the booing instantly, no matter how ugly it is.

    Anyways, welcome back Sian, we all missed ya!! As Treez said up above please keep posting as you are light in the darkness that is the Arsenal blogosphere. Nice to see FunGunner popping in, you can expect her to be a regular, pure Gooner she is :)

    Oh and before I forget, tell your Dad thanks for me :) and for God sakes Sian put some cash on that Oyster card, we can’t afford to lose our favorite blogger, now can we?!

    Reply

  11. Norms
    2272 days ago

    Out here in Cape Town the thought of tube failures brings back warm and happy memories……not so much of the failures, more of London itself., and many years ofi tube travel as just another sardine!

    As to the Emirates Cup, all the matches were on TV here and this year we seemed poorer than previously. Or more likely, we just liked strolling.. The one guy that really impresses was Frimpong and I hope that he gets, and justifies, a good run in the Premiership.

    Every day I open up BBC sport and NEWSNOW hoping to read about the fantastic signings we have made and this wait is just too frustrating. We do have really promising players on the fringe of breaking through but with unfulfilled promises from last year, and the previous one…and…… either we must pitch them in, sink or swim, or change tack completely.

    Between us we can probably name a full 11 of reserves who can justify playing in our first team…… Frimpong, Lansbury, Afobe!, and onwards so either we give them their chance or we have no faith in our investments. Throw out the deadwood, even if no one else wants them, revive the Arsenal team spirit and stop worrying about the transfer market.

    I can hear the howls of derision already!!!

    Looking forward to your next blog, the most ecntertaininf and refreshing one out there……..m

    Reply

  12. UncleK
    2272 days ago

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..D’OH !!!

    Great stuff,Sian.Beautiful writt innit

    Reply

  13. aarongunner
    2272 days ago

    Really liked this as always, but the Boo-ing thing. In a meaningless friendly its out of place, but we do need a voice don’t we? Some way of showing discontent with our club that is part of our lives. I’d never boo a meal, but I am tempted on a train.

    Reply

  14. Paulo
    2272 days ago

    I completely agree with the whole Cesc saga, rather he just came out and said “I really want to leave” and be done with it! And Nasri, my word, that was eloquently put, great analogy but can totally see where you coming from.
    Personally I’d let both of them go, use the cash to buy a big-strong-no-holds-barred central defender to play with Vermaelen (i.e. Samba, just get the big man already, he’s needed badly and like a blueprint of Sol!!!) and a solid defensive midfielder that can fill in when Song is not available, which in my book was revelation of the season as soon as he got injured the whole defence just broke down, I mean with him Arsenal could mask Vermaelen’s absence without both of them, well…

    And to be fair, would it be so bad a midfield without Fabregas and Nasri, but with Wilshere, Ramsay and Song? They are the future of the club, and as Man U showed years ago, if you’re good enough you’re old enough.

    Reply

  15. Graham
    2270 days ago

    Excellent stuff as usual. I love your take on all things Arsenal, a diamond in the dust. Keep it up, it shows that not all Arsenal fans are morons, just far too many!

    Reply

  16. Albuquirky Gunner
    2267 days ago

    Well, I have dusted off my Arsenal bookmarks in readiness for next Saturday and this was the first one I returned to. Great post.

    Having been one of Le Boss’s greatest admirers over the past umpteen years, and having watched him suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous and uninformed commentary as he steered the team through the construction costs of the new stadium and the sale of the flats at Highbury without a noticeable drop in performance, I do hope that he can add at least one, preferably two decent central defenders before the end of the month.

    I am definitely in the “we need a bit of a clearout” corner – Eboue is too inconsistent, if not just plain thick, NB52? Same – can be brilliant but is a bit like Malcolm McDonald – everything has to be right for him to fire on all cylinders and things just are not right often enough. Time for pastures new. Personally I thought both Denilson and Vela had lots of promise but the consensus seems to be ‘lightweight’ – off they go. As for Fabregas and Nasri – take the cash. Wilshere and Ramsay, with Walcott fit, have the capacity to be the centre pieces of the next great team. And I believe Sczesny may have enough about him too (but I thought that about Taylor as well and Le boss disagreed). I do hope Nasri stays for another year – but better to offload anyone not pulling for the team if all they can think about is a £50k per week payrise.

    Ah well, better start training now for the four games that “will define Arsenal’s season – it might be all over by the end of August” according to some fool journalist I read a few days ago.

    Reply

  17. irishgray
    2266 days ago

    Hope you and yours are well in London Sian. Fingers crossed these scumbags will get what is coming to them. I hope you put some cash on that Oyster card of yours young lady!! Take care of yourself :)

    Reply

    • Sian
      2263 days ago

      :) Thank you, all fine here! Oyster card still poor though :(

      Reply

  18. Bergkamps Ghost
    2266 days ago

    Great article. I read a lot of the arsenal blogs and you are one of the best bloggers around. Its about time us gooners started looking at the bright side of things.

    Reply

  19. Paulo
    2264 days ago

    So it turns out that they both are about to leave.

    Good riddance I say, as Lee Dixon put it, the club comes first and before any player! (he didn’t quite say it like that but you know what I mean)

    Reply

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