Bite, Borussia Dortmund, and a Burning Face.

September 14, 2011 19 Comments by Sian

Borussia Dortmund 1-1 Arsenal (London)

A Girl Who Loves The Gunners is about as rubbish at posting promptly after matches as Arsenal are at defending a lead!

Wait, no, in this instance this example is unfair. We will get into the reasons as to why, now. Firstly, if matches are going to be as tense as that and Swansea all season, someone’s going to need to pop over and remove my fingernails and all sharp objects from my house now, lest I damage myself and/or others. Didn’t they put us through the ringer last night! I remember my friend’s dad saying to me years ago, at the time of the Invincibles, as I left his daughter’s sleepover in the early morning to head off to an early kick-off at Highbury: “Don’t you lot get bored of winning?”

Winning is never boring, but neither is the new-look Arsenal. Also, does anyone else suffer from an over-heating face while watching football? I could have roasted a dinner on mine last night. Please let me know if you get this too, I’m scared my head will just explode one day.

Moving on.

Borussia Dortmund were always going to be our toughest opponents. I don’t know much about them (because they’re not Arsenal), but the atmosphere in the stadium last night looked to be, from my position on my sofa with my face aflame, electric. In the opening minutes of the game, if not the opening HALF of the game, we were bettered. Bettered, not battered. Were it not for the fact their shooting was about as effective as a blind-folded three-legged donkey in a bad mood, we could have gone in at half time in excessive amounts of goal debt.

The comments at half time were quite unfair, to be honest. They were good, but so too were we. Theo Walcott was quiet, to say the least – something like 12 touches prior to the pass that made the goal last night? – and Dortmund were excellent on the ball. They just squandered their chances.

Must be well annoying to support a team like that.

Anyway, in the 42nd minute, the game was changed by who else but Mr. Robin van Persie. The aforementioned pass by Theo set RvP up beautifully and we were on our way. Given all the comments throughout that half had been ‘Only a matter of time before Dortmund score’, it was nice that they didn’t. If only so we could go ‘HAAAAA!’ in the faces of those people.

The second half was essentially a pain in the arse. We couldn’t keep the ball for toffee, we were second to almost everything, and my face was lava at this point. As the moments ticked by, we most certainly didn’t look our best, but we did have two things we’ve not had/displayed in a while:

- luck

- guts

Mikel Arteta’s little blood explosion in the box was a nice example of the commitment showed by some of our players last night. Much as passing prettily and dinking little dinky balls and skippity-dooing around defenders is just charming, you also need your team to have a bit of bite. We are lacking cohesion and a sense of shared understanding at the moment, but we’re making up for it in all the other areas we’ve been lacking previously.

We defended well, and Szczesny made some beautiful saves once again. He is such a wind-up merchant though. Not that I’m complaining; it’s hilarious. But he is. He deserves a title. Not a Premiership one – well, obviously a Premiership one – but a Queen-swording-his-shoulders one too. Just for being a wind-up merchant. Services to Wind Up Merchanting. That’ll do it.

BVB (Borussia VortBund?)’s equaliser came in the 88th minute, when Danny Rose Perisic scored a goal he will never score again, ever as long as he shall live (probably). His first for Dortmund, did I hear that right? Ugh, standard behaviour. The positive of this was that it wasn’t the fault of anyone but the git-bagged gods who’d decided they were going to allow it to go in. Tools.

In spite of this late slip-up, it was clear that the main ingredient missing from the Arsenal cocktail of goaly goodness, was confidence. We didn’t play as best as we could, yet we still came away with a point from an away match against a team deemed to be our toughest opponents. And all while in the bedding in phase.

It has to be said, that had someone offered you a draw at 7pm BST last night, you’d have taken it wouldn’t you? I would have, 100 per cent. Taking into account the current state of the team (‘gelling’), the opponents, the away factor, the point in the season, and all that other stuff, it’s a great result. A sturdy foundation upon which we can build. You don’t want a wobbly foundation. Wobbly foundations cause wonky floorings. No one wants a wonky flooring.

Pat Rice was the man in charge last night, and @SwissRamble best summed up the reason why this was the case: “Let’s see if I’ve understood: UEFA have effectively banned Wenger for 3 games for protesting that van Persie was sent off for taking a shot”.

That’s basically it, Mr. Ramble. Wenger had to be escorted to his seat by UEFA officials, and then escorted back out 15 minutes after the match. On his way out, he stopped to sign some things for a Dortmund fan. In spite of being treated like a complete berk by a board of humans who re-define the term ‘BERKOSITY’, he still managed to act like the class act he is. How he has remained such a class act, is quite beyond me. He’s just better. Than everyone, and everything. He’s just better. But keep fighting that fight, UEFA. What’s racism when you’ve got a man with a good point and a knitted neck garment to deal with first, anyhow?  

Anyway, look at that, it’s half nine and both the Manchesters have just drawn their first Champions League matches too. The crisis in London carries on.

19 Comments

  1. The Ghost of Silvestre
    2228 days ago

    “Anyway, look at that, it’s half nine and both the Manchesters have just drawn their first Champions League matches too. The crisis in London carries on.”

    Talk about a verbal bitchslap! :D

    Great post as usual, Sian!

    You’re the Bacary Sagna of Arsenal bloggers. Consistently awesome.

    Reply

  2. Olly Bacon
    2228 days ago

    Yes!!!! My face goes redder than Sir Alex’s nose when watching the Arsenal! Glad it’s not just me!!!

    Reply

  3. The Ghost of Silvestre
    2228 days ago

    Oh btw, my face starts heating up as well during games. Don’t ask me how hot it gets when the opposition scores.

    Reply

  4. MistaKen
    2228 days ago

    Your funny girl, great post. Guttet to concede in the last 2 minutes but a point is a good result against the German champions in packed fiery stadium.

    I think the team will get better and we need to if we are going to improve on last season. Still think we need a quality player like hazard though and another quality CB.

    Reply

  5. Alan
    2228 days ago

    Love it, bird. Guts and luck – we could go a long way with that.

    Al Hotface

    Reply

  6. BVBforLIFE
    2228 days ago

    i happened across your blog and BVB does confuse many non german speakers/fans since the town is called “Dortmund” (your “VortBund” really made me chuckle!)

    BVB means Ballspiel-Verein Borussia (Borussia club for ball games). The correct club name is “BV Borussia 09 e.V. Dortmund”, with “09″ pointing to 1909, the year of the club’s foundation.

    Many fans see a further meaning in the abbreviation “BVB” and say it stands for “Borussen vom Borsigplatz” (Borussen [Borussia fans] from Borsigplatz [a square in a Northern district of Dortmund's city]) because the club was found in Borsigplatz, in the North of Dortmund, in the restaurant called “Zum Wildschütz” on 19 December 1909

    i personally like the latter.

    Reply

    • Phil
      2228 days ago

      Your english is 42x better than any UK person I know.

      Reply

    • Sian
      2228 days ago

      Aha! I knew someone would be able to enlighten me! Thanks for letting us know :)

      Reply

  7. Uncle Mike
    2228 days ago

    “Were it not for the fact their shooting was about as effective as a blind-folded three-legged donkey in a bad mood… ” Come on, Sian, if you’re going to be part of the Arseblog Network, you’re going to have to come up with sillier, and frequently more disgusting, metaphors than that!

    Other than that, well done.

    Reply

  8. BVBforLIFE
    2228 days ago

    no problem!! i found your blog quite funny. all my roommates are arsenal fans, so i don’t mind routing for you guys, just not when you’re playing BVB :-)

    Reply

  9. irishgary
    2227 days ago

    Excellent post M’Lady :) Just like you I was gutted when they scored the equalizer, yet I will admit it was a real screamer and for once no one can be blamed for it. I thought Song was particularly brilliant once he found his groove and Szceszny is just blowing me away. You had me laughing about the “over-heating face”. I have to say I never get this but The Girlfriend apparently gets it quite frequently. Apparently it is either due to the disgusting language that erupts out of me when: A) Arsenal do something God awful stupid; B) Arsenal play amazing football but simply can’t find the net; C) Arsenal are doing brilliant but the pundits keep up with their usual negative bile and I start yelling nasty insults back at them as if they can actually hear me or D) Arsenal let in a late equalizer. Or the astoundingly rediculous “dancing” (iuse the term in its loosest possible sense) and singing(screaming) that breaks out when Arsenal score.

    I feel I must admit to all of the above yesterday :) quite unashamedly I might add. :)

    Reply

  10. Matt
    2227 days ago

    Hi,

    I must say I have only recently discovered your post, though thoroughly enjoy reading it.

    You are now bookmarked alongside ANR – probably the only 2 blogs I actually find insightful and a pleasure to read.

    Keep up the good work Sian.

    Reply

  11. White Ox
    2227 days ago

    “The Bacary Sagna of blogs, It’s Consistently Excellent”. Love it. That should be the sub-title of this blog.

    Ta to Mr. BVBforLIFE for clearing that up, I shall be seeing your beautiful stadium and fans on my European sojourn in February. I hope nobody at BVB would be opposed to me wearing a Mertesacker shirt? Because I think that guy is the shiz, great player.

    And ta, of course, to Ms. Macalarny for another excellent post. I shall be seeing your beautiful stadium and fans not long after. And yes, Arsene is better than everyone at everything. I really couldn’t have said it better. He’s just a brilliant man.

    Reply

  12. Daniel
    2227 days ago

    Siany, you have lots of fans from all over the globe, but there is one fan you need more than any other. One for your roast dinner face during games, it would seem. Thanks for making me chuckle this morning… I’m not sure my exact symptoms but I literally think that sometimes I can’t take it. Even the smallest of things like passing the ball anywhere near the ‘keeper, even if there isn’t an oposing player within 30-yards, I’m like “GET IT OUT! AARGH NOOO!”

    Gonna hold my hands up and say that after they equalised, I went and tidied my room, because there ain’t no way in hell we were gonna draw that game in my head after that. 88 minutes? 88 bloody-minutes? Might as well give them another half an hour to score another. Jesus. Why can’t we just concede on 92 like Barca!?! Then send me on and I can’t lump it into the corner of Dortmund town centre and be done with it?????

    My fave blog as always, keep it up and remember this old phrase from the Invincibles era: “You win some, you draw some.” Oh, how I miss those heady days :)

    Reply

  13. Daniel
    2227 days ago

    Can lump it*

    Reply

  14. Alex
    2227 days ago

    Hey Sian, great blog as usual.
    The way I see it is, that was our toughest game in our group, and even though we led for just about 1/2 of it through our dear captain RvP, a point is a point. Especially away. And 3 points is 3 points at home when you’ve just restarted the league after a humiliation and a Mullering away. I hear Wenger’s plan for the group stages is to win all the home games and pick up points away, 3 home wins and a away point is 2nd place at least in our group, although I’d like to see us top it, its been too long. And in the same way, a blog is a blog, unless its one as good as yours :)

    Reply

  15. anto
    2227 days ago

    CAN I HAV UR NUMBER

    Reply

  16. Alex
    2227 days ago

    Oh yeah, my face doesn’t go roast dinner style when watching a tense Arsenal game and I don’t unleash the expletives (generally) but my symptoms are a steady increasing rate of heartburn and skipped heart beats as the opposing team get closer to the goal when we are defending a slim lead…

    Reply

  17. UncleK
    2226 days ago

    A highly entertaining blog,niece.Watched the game at work with a Spud supporting colleague who promised he’d be neutral and was’Just supporting an English club in Europe’.This turned out to mean damning us with faint praise…I too experienced the neck and ears going Arsenal RED and pointed out that this wasn’t the Europa League,it was more serious.Resuit-Instant cool down.
    Apart from that,how would anyone suggest defending against a goal like their equaliser?

    Reply

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