Marvellous Merty, the intercepty delight.

September 24, 2012 15 Comments by Sian

If you care, I’m sorry for the blog silence of late. I think I’m going through a period of blog depression. Blogpression if you will. Every time I try to post one, I can’t and I angrily delete it all and I have no ideas for anything new or good, and I think I’ve lost my blog mojo… my blojo………. No, definitely my blog mojo, forever. Perhaps I have, because there’s no excuse for it given we’re all supposed be quite jolly at the moment. We’re winning – and drawing – and everything looks quite positive. All the faceaching going on back on 31st August all looks a bit silly now, given the status quo.

Of course, it’s too early to say that because who knows, maybe they’ll all get absolutely broken and we’ll end up calling Rami Shaaban back in for an emergency loan. Plus, at the end of this season, happy ever after or not, Thomas Vermaelen, the man who still happily talks to the badger with no loyalty, will leave us for £300,000 a week and then in two seasons’ time Wenger will blank him in the tunnel and he’ll act all hurt, like it wasn’t him who left the ship first. What a crap sentence that was, see, blog mojo is shot.

So, to get back on some sort of a track, yesterday we drew away at the ‘Champions’ Manchester City. I bloody hate that use of the word Champions, by the way. You’re champions for a summer and that’s it.  Moving on, and the celebrations upon Laurent Koscielny’s goal were funny and brilliant. Some scoffed at them, but they represent the Daily Mail, so who’s losing at life really? It was definitely a deserved goal and I’m a bit miffed we didn’t win, actually. Nevertheless, we’re still on track for the Invincibles part two. Haha!

Still no first goal for Giroud. Well, he could have had one but Gervinho went all old skool Gervinho on us yesterday so he didn’t get a chance. Carl Jenkinson owned City in general, and they took to attacking him in order to stop him. Maybe writing about Carl will return me my mojo, as there is a really romantic lovely cartoon strip style story shaping up in his life. Til whoever’s richest comes calling in five years anyway. :)

Per Mertesacker was man of the match by some stretch, which is funny because he’s really tall so his stretches are super long. Thus that is one almighty stretch. You can’t not be pleased with him. He seems such a delightfully lovely man. I’m a big fat fairy pansy so that’s basically the most important thing to me anyway. I mean, I once tried loving a man with a big ugly streak of bastard running through him and I was successful for a while, but it turned out that that ugly streak was as enduring as grey hair, and ended up clouding over the rest of his personality like the big black cloud of depression until he ran away from my village and up to a different, more northern, more shit one where he could play with his golden dubloons and admire his new grey hair which he loved because it looked like platinum, and he loved platinum.

So, I would have taken loving Per the big lovely giant anyway, but now that he’s absolutely excellent, it’s just even easier. He makes interceptions like it aint no thang. As every other Arsenal blogger in the history of the world has said, he ‘reads the game very well’ and doesn’t need to be a vile old bastard centre half in doing so.

I think what’s good about our centre backs right now is the differences they all bring. Vermaelen is the tenacious, physical bulldog type. Mertesacker is the languid, intelligent greyhound, and Koscielny? Well, Koscielny doesn’t really fit anywhere, as Andi Thomas said not too long ago. But in fitting nowhere, he actually ends up completing this triumvirate of excellence. Absolutely not sure whether I used ‘triumvirate’ correctly there, but look at it sitting there shining like a beacon! Not forgetting Johan Djourou, who we all lost our spanners about losing to injury not so long ago. Terrible near anything wing shaped, but always important to have in the squad and I’m thrilled he remains. He’s another one who seems a lovely person, so he’s welcome aboard Team Sian’s Favourites any day.

Kieran Gibbs’s successful transformation from hopalong to standard first team starter has seen Andre Santos, the only player in the world worth really loving, pushed back onto the bench. Perhaps he could get a start against Coventry? Who knows, not I. Completing our back five thus far has been Vito Mannone. He howled a tad yesterday, but has otherwise looked a sturdy enough keeper and certainly not the bye-bye story we thought we’d seen last season. Hopefully the Loopy Pole will be back soon, allowing a healthy amount of competition to blossom in that position also.

My secondary man of the match yesterday had to be Aaron Ramsey. He’s had his doubters (all 5,683,271,932 of them) but yesterday was the best he’s looked for a while. Watch this. Moment 1.03 onwards is on Ramsey, but just watch it in general (warning: very sweary) Gervinho Gervinhoed a beautiful pass from him early on, and it set the tone for the rest of his day (and Gerv’s unfortunately). I really think Rambo will be captain of Arsenal one day. Everyone else seems to think Jack, but I’m not so sure.

Another talking point in yesterday’s match seems to have been this zonal marking/man marking debate. Nothing makes my eyes glaze over more. I know it’s a sin, I am a woman battling my way through the mannish jungle of football armed with nothing but a spatula and some mozzie spray, so how can I admit to not wishing to get involved in chalkboard talk? Well, besides the fact it often confuses me about as much as long division, I just basically think that either you play well or you play shit. And if you’re playing shit, well you’d just better run a bit faster and stop being pushed off the ball like a worthless marshmallow. Try a bit harder. It’s very simple.

Anyway, enough droning on in this directionless fashion. Apologies for the lack of blogging, and that the quality here is so poor, but I hope to take inspiration from our promising looking little team and push on from this to better things next time.


  1. Kumario
    1883 days ago

    Even if your blog mojo is on holiday it was still a nice read. Thanks!


  2. 1NiltotheArsenal
    1883 days ago

    A bit of a dodgy post (only a bit) but still way better than most of what you read regarding the Arsenal in blogosphere.

    A good Italian friend of mine used to say, “Only we could build a crooked tower and then convince people to pay good money to come see it for hundreds of years afterwards”.

    I was thinking of that for whatever reason when watching Per Mertesacker play on Saturday, dunno why. He’s tall and awkward looking perhaps like the tower in Pisa.

    Except he’s actually really amazing to watch. Like seeing to the tower is amazing maybe.

    You may think you’ve lost your blojo or whatever, but your post is 10 times better than this comment.


  3. Maddo
    1883 days ago

    Hi Dumpling.

    How are you and your apprenticeship in the high brow corners of journalism? Hope its breezing along well and you are learning your trade admirably.

    No it’s not the best blog you have written but I get where you are coming from in terms of blogwomanship. Sometimes the mojo is just not “hanging” or maybe the moon is quarter full and all is dark grey rather than bright light.

    Reading your blog I commend your praise for everyone including Gibbs who apparently 7am Kickoff wrote on his blog had one of his best games/completed all his passes which convincingly made him better than Corporal Jenkinson during yesterday’s game.

    But it’s all about perception as I catch sight of a marked improvement/ step up in Corporal Jenkinson play. (The boy became the man kind of moment (I think))

    Throughout the years of following my team I’ve loved several players…even the one whom should not be named but Per Mertesacker I’ve liked for several years long before he came to Arsenal. I knew of him when he played for Werder Bremen, a team I followed for a several seasons in Germany and discovered him and Mesut Özil. I knew then both would be world class players.

    Per is also very intelligent with a kind spirit and he loves a bit of reggae (Bob Marley mostly)

    TV5 still being friends with “whom should not be named” is hard to accept… But throughout history of football…best friends and family members have always played against each other. The Neville Brothers spring to mind…Arteta against his best friend at Everton last season. All I’m hoping is when we travel to Old Trafford in a few weeks TV5 main focus will be to stop his best mate scoring against us and if he does that I will have no trouble with their friendship.

    Alas I’m more concerned about whom he has been kissing to catch a cold so bad it stopped him playing in a game as important as ManCity. That young curvy (tiny) girlfriend of his I hope is not a supporter of the enemy and causing sabotage (I jest of course).

    Theo is making it plain to everyone it’s not about the money….it’s all about being a Striker.

    Last season FA Cup game against Sunderland away (we lost Per) I remember for a time period of 20 minutes when Theo played down the middle with Chamakh. Both players were abysmal in a 4.4.2 role. He had no idea where to stand/ positioning. Personally Arsene knows…so we wait and see.

    Finally I want Giroud to score. I’m a little pissed off with retweets from followers of Piers Morgan saying he is a crap player. I recall a similar doubt about TH14 in his first season and although I’m not saying he is a TH14 I think it’s all about confidence.

    Maybe Coventry…he has to start somewhere so why not score against a lower league club…as long as he does not celebrate like Bendtner did when he scored against Orient???? (I could be wrong there)

    Anyhow…thanks for your blog…it’s always a pleasant read


  4. Alex (@WindAFC6)
    1883 days ago

    Couldn’t agreed more about Mertesacker as MotM and Aaron as a close second Sian, maybe he does have future Arsenal Captain potential, who knows, Jack could be his Vice-Captain :)
    Very self-depreciating post, your mojo may have gone missing to you but I see traces of it here in this very post, you just need to find the spark to re-ingnite it Miss ;)


  5. Atif
    1883 days ago

    I guess you are still overcoming the hangover from summer. But can’t blame you, if once supposedly gooner from heart can be persuaded by a screaming little kid inside then not sure who can be trusted. But I am sure once Giroud scores a goal, which I am sure he will, you will start to feel better.

    “Big black cloud of depression” – like it


  6. mike
    1883 days ago

    Again, I believe Gervinho was the weak link yesterday, and if he was half way on the money we could have won yesterday. He may lose his starting place again.
    For me Per, and Jenkinson were men of the match.
    Podolski was missing a bit.


  7. Irishgray
    1883 days ago

    Sian – Mojo or Blojo, or indeed lack of either, for some reason still puts many other Arsenal blogs to shame. And almost all journalists/pundits. Anyways, as for this blogpression of yours, battle through it girl!! Just like Diaby has done these last 6 years. And Aaron. And Jack. And Eduardo. You won’t have to look any further than The Arsenal for inspiration Siany. You might even get a post out of it :)

    To be quite frank Sian. You were the one who started this blog and one by one we all discovered it. And we liked it. And then you kept posting excellent articles. Bloody funny ones as well. No dooming. Frustration and anger at times but never a doomer. And we kept reading. And you, you kept posting, even better and funnier posts. And now we are hooked. Hooked I tells ya!! So you can forget about hanging up your bloggers cap and riding off as the sun sets.

    You named your blog “I believe in Arsenal”, well girl we believe in you so suck it up, start typing, keep posting and at the end of the season we can all sit back and admire the big new shiny things we won. All the while laughing as AVB gets the sack from the Spuds because he is not God and cannot work miracles as the Spuds are shite and always will be and they will never win anything ever again. Simples!! :)


    • FunGunner
      1883 days ago

      I second that!
      Just keep knocking the posts out, Sian – they don’t always have to be perfect. It’s OK to have some which are just excellent as opposed to outstanding. For most people, today’s blog would represent a career high. Plus you can spell and employ more than a basic vocabulary. Have a bit more confidence – that’s an order.

      However I am annoyed with you for smashing my fond illusion that the Verminator would now be telling the Greedy Badger, “you’re dead to me, sherioushly.

      By the way, about the love affair going wrong, do read Poznan in my Pants’ latest. Hilarious.


      • Irishgray
        1882 days ago

        FG – long time no see :) I hope all is well. I see The Arsenal Ladies just need a point from their last 2 fixtures to retain the title, here’s hoping. ESPN are televising their next match against Doncaster Belles. Not sure of the date but I will be watching!


        • FunGunner
          1881 days ago

          Hey there, Irish. And they beat Barca women 3-0 in the away leg of Women’s CL, making Wednesday night all the sweeter!


  8. Alan
    1883 days ago

    Mojo’s still there, bird. With gems like ‘…it looked like platinum, and he loved platinum.’ and ‘armed with nothing but a spatula and some mozzie spray’ I’m giggling away like a little boy. I believe in Siany…. and those boys in red and white who did rather well on Sunday.


  9. slimshady
    1883 days ago

    Always thought Rambo was sh*t…

    NOT. There’s a reason Cesc said what he said about him. Here’s to all these kids staying forever, & not c*nting out like that Judas prick.



  10. Vaders_Grandather
    1883 days ago

    Good Morning All,

    Good blog. End of.

    Wondering if you have a mail subscription service or G+ page where I (we) can get auto updates for a new blog?

    Arsenal till I die!


  11. Matt
    1883 days ago

    I’m trying to start blogging but have yet to even find my blojo let alone lose it so I’m currently just in awe of seeing anything written down. Even a full sentence seems beyond me and, even though, writing stuff is my day-job, there’s more pressure in writing about something you actually like.

    Anyhowz, I think it’s harder to write when everything is rosy. Your ‘thing’ (much like Chandler’s thing is that he’s funny and Ross’ thing is science and academia) is that you’re cheery and happy and all “Arsenal are great” even when we’ve sold all our best players and signed a bunch of stick thin seventeen year olds. A sea of optimism in a blogosphere full of doom-mongers. That’s you.

    So, when everything is great and everyone loves CJ and TV5 and even little Aaron, you’ve got seemingly nowhere to go. Yet you still manage to dream up stuff like the Van Persie grey hair/platinum analogy thingy.

    What I’m trying to say is, even when you’re (apparently) bad you’re good. And I love Ramsey too – he was absolutely superb on Sunday.


  12. Nigel
    1882 days ago


    Remember that form is temporary but class is permanent.

    You are a class blogger.



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