Bad week, GOOD WEEK.
As day follows night, as the road to sobriety follows the hopeless struggle into alcohol dependency and as that sort of bleary-eyed serenity follows the full on puking, head pounding, heart skipping hangover of doom, it was only right that we had a good week following a bad one.
That bad week was set in motion last week by a loss to Chelsea. And a loss to those muggy mugs can only be an horrendous thing, particularly when the downfall was not even as much their doing as ours. We couldn’t even blame them for fact we spent the morning vomming in the shower. They didn’t feed us those excessive sambucas. We took them ourselves. My God, did we take them ourselves. The fact our favourite suede shoes were wrecked by the stench of beer was not their doing. No, we CHOSE to go to the scummy bar where shoe/beer interaction is not so much likely as an inevitability.
So that we woke up on Sunday hating ourselves from the inside out, was not really Chelsea’s fault at all. No. That we were forced to take a soluble asprin on an empty stomach was not their doing either. And the subsequent binvom was our fault and our fault alone.
We rode the storm though, and by Wednesday night, we could stomach an entire meal without dying through our face. Wednesday’s win over Olympiacos came as a surprise to me as I had this real doomy feeling the entire day beforehand. It was raining and I was nearly late, and there was a massive queue hold up at Highbury & Islington station and my favourite Tube announcer dissed Arsenal as I boarded… essentially I’d done all the calculations and I’d looked deeply into the tactics of my day and quite frankly a loss was the only possibility I saw. The Greeks, not traditionally long and lean, were going to be confronted by a team of oompa-loompas thanks to the benching of Olivier Giroud and the virus of Per Mertesacker (whatev Merty, ruin your suede shoes too did ya?)
Anyway, after we’d gone ahead through Gervinho and conceded our traditional easy goal through Mitroglou in a poorer than poor first half, the second half was only going to be better, but only because it couldn’t be much worse. The rain stopped a bit and we could see clearly now the rain had gone… no, no, we really COULD. The heaviness of that shower was like some kind of shit Instagram effect on my vision. Podolski scored and did another of his “Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Guys guys I scored a goaaaaaaaaaaaal!!!!!” celebrations. I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong I got the character of this guy. I thought he’d be some tough, strangly, difficult to handle beast of a geezer. Turns out, he’s a blonder Santos. In the end it was the subs what done it. Chamberlain made way for Theo, Podolski for Giroud and Gervinho for Ramsey. Giroud made an immediate effect in the tiny portion of time he was given and rounded off his evening with a nice little headed flick-on for Ramsey who scored one of the most deserved goals in the history of the whole entire universe. The scoreline perhaps flattered a tad, but you can handle some defensive wobbles (looking at you, Thomas), when you’re going to outscore the benefactors of the wobbles anyway. Well that’s my theory anyway.
It was 1-3 again yesterday in a much, much better performance from the whole team. Once again, it wouldn’t be a day of the week in the 21st century without a stupidly conceded goal from the opposition’s first attack of the day after having been hammered (haha, I didn’t even mean that… hammered) for the first twenty minutes.
Diame’s finish was quite excellent and I think in the teeth-grinding of the disappointment at having conceded in such a gimpy fashion kind of meant that he didn’t get the credit he deserved. But you know oh wellz, because he then did a muppety celebration – although far muppetier than the celebration is the fact you can get punished muppettishly for such a show of emotion – and THEN he became ruling King of Muppets by doing a stupid tackle that should have had him see yellow once more but didn’t because this is Phil Dowd and a player (say, a 6ft 5er like Szczesny?) could be physically manhandled to the floor and he’d still stand there all gimp-eque with his arms folded.
But I digress. Although his goal really awakened West Ham and the crowd, our equaliser was not too far away. One of the best parts of last Saturday (which was obviously generally shit so it’s not hard to pick) was our goal just minutes after the Chelsea ‘He left ‘cos you’re shit’ song. ‘He [insert any name really] joined cos you’re rich’ would have been a good comeback but NO a Gervinho goal is a better comeback than any song. And yesterday the comeback was a Giroud goal following a short verse of the horrible Arsene Wenger song we all hate. I’ve not heard it in a long time actually, and the last time I think I remember writing about it might actually have been against West Ham at home. Get some new material you knobbers. It didn’t really take off, and Wenger said such ‘stupidity’ didn’t bother him, but it did bother me. What bothered me almost as much was our fans going ‘You can’t really complain when we sing the “She said no Robin” song.’
Er yeah I can because some Arsenal fans are arseholes but I’m not and I would never sing that song. So I can complain at both actually. And I can tell the West Ham fans who were singing that that they’re knobbers because not all of them were singing it, thus not all West Ham fans are knobbers. In fact, most of them are great. They hate Tottenham, for instance.
Anyway moving on. Giroud’s toepoked opener from Podolski’s delivery was so deserved and so happily celebrated. He nearly flattened Podolski in his celebration but what is more important in that celebration is the St. John’s Ambulance kid behind who is blatantly an Arsenal fan. Have a look.
Santos came on before the first hour was out as Gibbs picked up an injury. In a week in which he got called up to the England squad this is horrible timing, but it’s actually great timing because no one really cares about international football when the league is still ongoing. Now, I’ve been super-critical of Theo for the past few weeks. The contract thing has really just annoyed me, and all of us. The fact he’s my age and not absolutely over the flipping moon to re-sign a contract with us just grates on me a little. Yesterday though, I loved him. His goal was fantastic, his stats were fantastic (bothered about stats though), his celebration for Santi’s goal also was fantastic. He was basically Fantastic Feo yesterday. And, minus an incredible amount of ‘you knows’ in his post-match interview, that was fantastic too. Well in, Theo! But still, sign da ting innit.
Best moment of the game was obviously Cazorlacorzolacocacola’s beauty though. He was insane yesterday and given the fact he’s been quite profligate in front of goal (in spite of being otherwise untouchable), it was a great time for him to pick up his second of the season. In addition to all of his two-footed smiliness as well… he’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!! He’s so FLUFFFFAYYYYY.
There will still be complaints at the silliness of conceding still, but I don’t really care until we stop outscoring those. That’s another point to make as well. In four days, we scored six goals via six different players. In selling the badger, we’ve sold the one man team tag to them as well. And hey, it turns out he was holding our goals back all along!
Now we have the quiet quiet dullness of the international break. Boo. Hiss. Time for a sleep, see you in two weeks.