Velcro Scarecrows

October 11, 2012 6 Comments by Sian

There’s crap all going on in the rolling fields of Arsenal. No cows, no bales of hay, no scarecrows because who needs a scarecrow when there’s bugger all in the field? There’s nothing scarier than a scarecrow by the way. A scarecrow dressed as a clown might be. And covered in Velcro, because there’s no noise in the world worse than Velcro. Even typing the word Velcro is putting my teeth on edge. If everyone dressed their scarecrows in Velcro, there’d be no crops damaged ever. Now my teeth are fizzing, why did I mention Velcro?

UGH. Velcro.

Anyway, very little happening Arsenal-wise. Ivan Gazidis did a thing about that stuff on the radio which sounded positive for us but that’s about as far as I understood that one. He talked about other clubs starting to behave like Arsenal with regard to money (Mail). No, I don’t really think they should though Ivan. I think they should continue to piss it all up the wall until find themselves in trouble and spiral away down into the abyss, and so that we can peer over the edge of the well wearing our ruby crown going “NOT LAUGHING AT OUR CAPTAIN RETENTION ISSUE NOW ARE YA!!!” at them, before retiring to the country club to play a relaxed game of giant drafts with our impressive collection of massive faberge eggs. In other news, we’re gonna buy Falcao in January but I reckon we’re more likely to buy an actual falcon than an actual Falcao.

Yesterday the collective supporter pant was wet of seat as Laurent Koscielny limped off the training field after Riberying his knee. I saw a photo right after and he looked like he’d landed like Robert Pires for a moment, so that was really scary. Fortunately though, he subsequently passed a medical test and is still in contention for France’s match on Friday.

I mean, phew, really. As long as he’s fit for France. That’s the main thing. Hate to miss out on the possibility of some kind of Koscielny-Giroud head clash sidelining the pair of them for three weeks.  But no, we’re still on course for that, so that’s really excellent news.

In other news, Spanish newspaper As ran a lovely interview between Mikel Arteta and Santi Cazorla yesterday. Spanish fans were probably all “Who?” because they don’t deem our beautiful Span good enough for them because they’re far too busy winning stuff really boringly. But that’s a good thing, because it means he doesn’t get injured when travelling pointlessly to Costa Rica or somewhere similarly far flung. Still, in spite of hating international football, it would be nice if he got a bit of recognition. He really deserves it but I only want him to play for them under the condition he leaves them afterwards with not even a single Lego hair out of place. I loathe the idea of him playing for England. He’d be surrounded by twats and I don’t think any English person should be allowed a view on him anyway unless they’re an Everton or Arsenal fan. He’s too good for their stupid opinions.

But the interview was overall really cute, which is the only thing an interview with Santi Cazorla can be. My school Spanish got me through most of it but they do use a lot of slang, which is unfortunately not part of the IB’s curriculum. Everyone’s picked up on the part where Santi says Mikel is essentially our captain in terms of the respect he commands. It’s unsurprising because, in spite of Vermaelen’s excellent captaining positives, he’s not really seemed too captainly so far this season, whereas Mikel seems the dad of the team. The really fit dad with the great hair, obvs.

I went to the u21s match at Underhill with Zana and Pav on Monday night, which we won 2-0. It was cold and there was horrible spray rain throughout, but we met Carl Jenkinson so everything was good again. Jack also didn’t get re-broken, so it was a successful night overall, I’d say.

The purpose behind this blog was to post a link to another thing I wrote for SWOL, short for Soccer Without Limits. Its actual name is Soccer Without Limits, but I’d done the hyperlink and couldn’t be arsed to change it. It’s about how we don’t need one foot to score all our goals any more. Anyway, that’s all blogchums. See you once the sun comes out and field fills up once again. Let’s hope none of the cattle get twanged in the meantime.

 

 

 

 

6 Comments

  1. Irishgray
    656 days ago

    “Yesterday the collective supporter pant was wet of seat as Laurent Koscielny limped” – How the hell do you come up with these zingers? Especially considering you as good as threatened to throw in the blogging towel not too long ago, bloody brilliant stuff Sian! A clown scarecrow covered in velcro does sound truly appalling by the way *shudders*

    And to top it all off, you just casually mention that you met Carl right at the end. Well enough Sian, now off to read your piece on SWOL. You don’t half make a comeback, now do you? :)

    Reply

  2. FunGunner
    656 days ago

    Not one, but *two* great posts? Sian, you are spoiling us!

    I think they should continue to piss it all up the wall until find themselves in trouble and spiral away down into the abyss, and so that we can peer over the edge of the well wearing our ruby crown going “NOT LAUGHING AT OUR CAPTAIN RETENTION ISSUE NOW ARE YA!!!” at them, before retiring to the country club to play a relaxed game of giant drafts with our impressive collection of massive faberge eggs.

    ha ha ha.

    Wouldn’t it be nice to get Santi in a room, just tickle him all day long and listen to him giggle?

    And as for you and your “bumping into players/players’ houses and taking your photo with them” habit…

    Reply

    • Irishgray
      656 days ago

      FunGunner – Hope you enjoyed the Arsenal Ladies double. Fingers crossed they can make it a treble, now that really would be something special. Some highlights if you missed it -

      http://youtu.be/w2k5bRPIPko

      Reply

      • FunGunner
        654 days ago

        I did, IrishGray – I was working so I didn’t know the result until late. Thanks so much for the highlights. Hope you and the lovely gf are enjoying life.

        Reply

  3. Incognito Gooner
    656 days ago

    First off Sian you are beautiful. Second of all great blog.

    Nice to see you like Everton, they are probably the only side in the league I don’t hate. I suppose you can’t really hate a team that sells you Arteta.

    Just imagine we had Fabregas with Cazorla and Arteta in midfield!

    Reply

  4. Alex
    655 days ago

    Sian, you and Zana look so happy with Carl, great picture and great blog once again :D

    Reply

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